This year, the Jansens decided to go on a cruise.
A repositioning cruise. We boarded in Vancouver, spent a day in Victoria, two days in San Francisco, and eventually made our way to Los Angeles.
We’ve never cruised before, and I have to say, it was pretty good. More on that later.
First, we need to talk about Disneyland.
My family has been to Disneyland approximately eleventy-seven times.
Seriously. I’ve lost count. I think this might be our tenth visit? Which is wild considering I hate it here. 🤣
And yet, here I am. Again.
Despite my protests, there was no chance that we were going to end our cruise in Los Angeles and go home. Or, God forbid, do something else.
And not just for a day.
FOUR. FUCKING. DAYS.
So here I am, in California Adventure, drinking a $26 margarita and writing a blog post about why I hate Disneyland.
I know people love this place. I know it’s magical. I know it’s where dreams come true and childhood memories are made and all that. I too came as a child and it was fairly magical though we drove here and it was the 80’s and then I got the stomach flu and had to cut the trip short 😂
But I have questions.
Because I genuinely don’t understand how people enjoy this experience as much as they claim to. Either we’re having wildly different experiences, or some of you are lying. 🤣
First of all, the cost.
Our Disneyland tickets alone cost more than our entire cruise for three people.
We spent six days sailing on a giant floating resort, with food and drinks and entertainment included, for less than the cost of walking through the gates of Disneyland.
And that’s JUST the tickets.
Now add the hotel. The meals. The snacks. The souvenirs. The endless parade of overpriced plastic crap that will eventually end up in a landfill.
And apparently $26 margaritas.
Which, for the record, I’m drinking without complaint. It’s medicinal at this point and probably the best margarita I’ve ever had 😂
Then there are the crowds.
People walking too slowly. People stopping suddenly in the middle of walkways. People pushing strollers. Scooters. Wheelchairs. People standing in lines to get into other lines.
And the heat.
It’s 30 degrees.
For those of you who know me, you know I run hot. I’ve always run hot. But now, and perhaps it has to do with my current age, my internal hellfire is out of fucking control 😂
So while everyone else is enjoying the magic, I’m sweating like a farm animal.
And then there’s the sheer sensory overload.
The noise. The music. The people. The merchandise. The food. The smells. The constant movement. The relentless MORE.
I feel like I’m at Costco.
Who the hell wants to feel like they’re doing a Saturday afternoon Costco shop on their vacation?!
Disneyland is the only place that has consistently broken me.
I’m not even kidding.
I’m a reasonably capable woman.
I can handle a lot.
But put me in Disneyland for four days and I will absolutely lose my shit.
One time we came when I was pregnant with Jaime. I can see from where I’m sitting right now- the spot they found me crying 😂
Them: oh no mom what’s wrong?!
Me: I stood in line to get into the park. I stood in line for fast passes. I stood in line for rides. Now I all I want is a fucking soup in a bread bowl and there was a line 😭
Them: sooooo, you sat down here and cried? 🤔
Me: yes 😭😂
*guy next to us awkwardly picks up his tray and finds another seat* 😂
Which begs the obvious question.
WHY DO WE KEEP COMING BACK?! 🤣
Well, because apparently I’m the only person in my family who doesn’t love Disneyland. 😂
I do it for them.
But that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to become a Disney Adult.
Sometimes Jim says things like, “Oh, just relax and enjoy it.”
And I’m like, OH! OKAY! You’re right! I’ll just relax a little, and then we can skip down Main Street holding hands and singing show tunes! 😂
As I always say, we all have different likes and dislikes, and that’s okay.
I like cool weather. Fall. Bookstores. Thrifting. Good friends. Slow mornings. Good food. Old pubs. Antiques. Old buildings. Eccentric people. The fringes of society. A little bit of history.
Basically, give me a hundred-year-old pub full of questionable characters over a Disney parade any day. 😂
Which brings me back to the cruise.
The cruise was cool. But the best part was being with our friends, who are like family ❤️
We ate. We drank. There were shenanigans. At one point, I spent an entire day in bed with a spectacular hangover, and I have no regrets. 😂
Our first port was Victoria, one of my favourite cities, which we visit often.
We did a little bookstore tour. I’m collecting vintage cookbooks, and I’m currently looking for copies of Joy of Cooking published before 1975. Sadly, no luck.
Then I parked myself in my favourite Irish pub while Jim and Jaime went off to play at their favourite arcade.
See? Everyone doing things they enjoy. 😂
Then we hit San Francisco.
We did the touristy stuff. Wandered the piers, ate soup in bread bowls (without incident, I might add 😂), and toured Alcatraz.
All very cool.
But what I really wanted to see was the weirder, grittier side of San Francisco.
Jim and Jaime might be dragging me through Disney hell, but San Francisco was MY time. 😂
We went to Haight-Ashbury, the birthplace of the 1960s counterculture movement. It was full of colourful buildings, vintage shops, interesting characters, and a whole lot of history.
This is where the hippies were. Also Janis Joplin and the Grateful Dead 😂
Haight-Ashbury was also connected to the women’s liberation movement. Women were challenging the idea that their lives had to revolve around marriage, motherhood, housework, and keeping everyone else comfortable.
They were demanding equal pay, access to education and careers, reproductive rights, control over their own bodies, and the freedom to make choices without asking permission.
We wandered through the Castro, one of America’s earliest and most famous gay neighbourhoods. We stopped at Twin Peaks Tavern, a historic gay bar known for its big windows looking out onto the street.
It was one of the first gay bars in the country to be so open and visible at a time when being gay was still heavily stigmatized.
Unfortunately, we couldn’t stop for a drink because Jaime is twelve. But I did walk inside for a look. 😂
Then we headed to the Mission District for some thrifting.
The Mission had a completely different energy. Bright murals, old Victorian buildings beside brightly painted storefronts, record shops, thrift stores, bars, cafés, and little sketchy markets.
We went looking for thrifted treasures but again, no luck.
We did get yelled at by a homeless man.
But that’s okay. These things happen. 😂
And honestly? I loved every minute of it.
So here we are. Back at Disneyland.
And I suppose that’s the thing about family vacations. We don’t all have to love the same things.
Jim and Jaime love Disneyland. I love wandering through old neighbourhoods, poking around secondhand shops, learning about people who challenged society’s expectations, and drinking in pubs that have been around longer than most of the people in them.
Neither is wrong.
Although, obviously, my interests are more interesting. 😂
And I think that’s what sometimes gets lost. Just because I don’t enjoy something doesn’t mean I’m choosing to be miserable. I’m not failing to appreciate the magic. I’m not being difficult. I just don’t like it.
And that’s okay.
I don’t need Jim to love thrift stores any more than he needs me to love Disneyland. Pretty sure the gay neighborhood tour was not on the top of his agenda 😂
We can do things together, we can do things separately, and we can occasionally drag each other along for the ride.
Which is how I ended up here for four days. 😂
So I’ll go on the rides I like. I’ll enjoy the Halloween decorations. I’ll eat my soup in a bread bowl. I’ll laugh with my family and make some more memories.
And when I’ve had enough, I’ll go back to the hotel, crank up the air conditioning, drink some wine, and enjoy a little peace and quiet.
Meanwhile, Jim and Jaime can stay until the park closes.
Everybody wins.
Well, except our bank account.
And possibly my nervous system. 😂
Anyway, my margarita is empty, the temperature is still approximately the surface of the sun, and somewhere out there people are voluntarily standing in a 90-minute lineup for a ride.
I think I’ll go find some shade.
Maybe another twenty-six dollar margarita.
I mean, I’m on vacation right? 😂
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