Kirsty, Unhinged

Blog

  • Family and my stand mixer…

    I’m not a baker. However, as we know I do like to cook. I recently decided to make bread and I was reminded of why I don’t bake. It’s the incessant kneading. It sticks, you keep adding flour, you scream ‘WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?!!’ You cry a little and then then finally you have one tiny baguette that is delicious but gone in 30 seconds and you are left alone and empty inside.

    So I bought a Kitchen aid stand mixer. Who knew this was going to be life changing?! You just throw in your ingredients, turn that sucker on and then 5-7 minutes later you have workable dough.

    Today I was working from home and I took a lunch break. I threw some soup in the crop pot.

    Sidebar: it’s the potato veg soup I made and froze when I did my 5 meals with one tube of beef challenge. I actually took it out to make for dinner yesterday.

    But further sidebar…

    Jaime was snowboarding earlier in the week (she’s 11). She fell. She hurt her wrist. She thought she should go to the doctor. I did not think she needed to go to the doctor. I have three kids and this is not my first injury. In fact…

    Another sidebar: one time when Jaime was around 18 months we were in Disneyland and due to a series of events including a toddler running into the crowd (Jaime) and a mom (me) pulling her to safety, her little wrist got dislocated. I didn’t panic, we’ve dealt with dislocated joints before (I also have two boys). I consulted google. I turned her wrist gently one way, gently the other and bam! Popped back into place and we continued our vacation.

    Anyway, I had taken the soup out yesterday. Then Jaime came home and said her teacher had inspected her wrist and felt like it was important her mom take her to the doctor. Do you know how hard it is to see a doctor for a non-emergency but urgent situation? Especially one that Dr. Mom already knows is not an emergency, not even urgent? Not swollen. Not in distressing pain. Range of motion is limited but fine. She rode her scooter to school ffs. This is a mild sprain, at worst.

    But alas. The school thinks we should get it checked. Jaime thinks we should get it checked. So we go to urgent care and sit in the waiting room next to a nice young man with an obvious fever as his girlfriend put cold compresses on his face. He did compliment me on my boots, which are indeed very nice boots, but I am for sure getting sick now. Two + hours later we see a nurse and, as predicted, it is a mild sprain.

    This was a grand adventure for Jaime though. The nurse wrapped her wrist and recommended she get a wrist brace and wear it for two weeks. Jaime says oh, well it’s a good thing we went!! As she sports her new wrist bandage. Yes. Good thing.

    Anyway, we ate Subway at 7pm and the soup stayed in the fridge.

    Which brings me back to lunchtime today and my stand mixer. I dump my thawed yesterday soup into the crock pot and look at my mixer and think ‘boy fresh buns would be great with this soup’ so as I heated my lunch I I threw the bread ingredients into the mixer, and 10 minutes later had dough rising.

    I finished my workday and went to the kitchen, as I do. The kids congregated. Jim and our friend arrived from golf. I put the buns in the oven. OMG the actual buns, there will be no more buns in this oven I’ll tell you that with certainty lol

    We gathered, we ate homemade soup, we enjoyed the fresh buns, we talked and laughed and although things are crazy sometimes and I don’t know if I can handle any more conversations about Tyler’s conspiracy theories and Brad’s commentary and the chaos – this was hands down, one of those moments that fills my soul. #delight

  • I like being alone …

    Tonight I cooked dinner, as I do. Most nights anyway.  It’s Friday.   I had some wine and put on some music and made nothing fancy. Everyone dispersed and I was alone.  Dinner was done, I know my people were waiting for it, but I wasn’t ready yet. I put it in the oven on warm.  Sorry!  Not done! 

    My plan was foiled when Brad phoned from upstairs.

    “When is dinner?”

    “Oh, well, it’s ready now”

    “Cool.  That was lucky”

    “Yessss.  Lucky indeed.” Lol

    I don’t want any hurt feelings here.  I love my family and I love spending time with them. I love my friends, I enjoy being with my people.  But something else is true.  Some people re-fuel by being around others, some people re-fuel being by themselves.  I am the latter.

    Jim, Jaime and I went on a weekend away last weekend.  It was lovely and we had a great time.  We took a float plane to Victoria.  Our flight home landed downtown and Jim (who’s energy is recharged WITH people) said hey! Why don’t we go to Gastown for lunch at the Spaghetti Factory! 

    Jaime, who is 11 and bless her soul, said:

    “You know Dad, this was fun but my family time battery needs to re-charge.  I think we should just go home” lol

    She is a wise and self-aware little lady.

    I like being alone.  I can spend a whole day all by myself and not be lonely. Those of us like that -we aren’t wrong.  We aren’t weird.  We enjoy ourselves and we need peace and space. And, at the same time, we love our people.

    So if you see me sitting in a restaurant by myself, maybe I’m drinking wine (probably), I might be reading a book, I might just be staring into space.  Just know: I am not alone, I’m just here, living my best life.

  • My Sweet Little Pork Chop

    I was unpacking my meat order from Meridian Meats, as I do. Everything was in order. BUT I got one random Rosemary Garlic Pork Chop that I didn’t order. What? A free pork chop?!! Well I’m not gonna complain about a free little gift from the universe. But what the hell you do with one pork chop? 

    I consulted with ChatGPT, as one does. How can I stretch one pork chop into a meal to feed five? Pfft. Easy we both said as we high fived. I told her I’m thinking beans. She said great. We both thought. 

    Then I was like hey, I have a whole head of cabbage. We were both like oh snap, cabbage. 

    I looked in my fridge. Brenda! I have prosciutto that I need to use up! She was like STOP. We have a meal.

    So I poured some wine and put on my 90s rock playlist and browned that prosciutto.

    I threw in the pork chop to sear and with delight I realized my pork chop was TWINS! Two babies!!!!

    It’s everything I could have hoped for.

    Twin pork chops, prosciutto, onions, garlic, carrots, celery, cabbage and my soul nourishing broth. I mixed chicken broth and beef broth because I’m pretty sure that equals pork? Anyway, pretty sure this was all pretty much free and so f*cking good.

    I am far from a culinary genius, but what I love about cooking:

    Sometimes you plan.
    Sometimes you improvise.
    And sometimes you have pork chop twins.

    You roll with it. 

  • Five Meals. One Tube of Beef.

    I keep seeing these videos come up in my feeds.  How I fed my family 5 dinners under $50.  I saw a lady doing a shop and and was like oh look at this lb of ground turkey on sale for $1.99! 

    $1.99 (*eyeroll*) .

    The cheapest lb of ground turkey I can find is $8.  And I’m normally a grass fed, free range kinda cook so like that’s unreal. 

    Anyway, the other day I was about to make butter chicken and realized I was out of butter.  Which is fine actually because strangely butter chicken has little to no butter in it. 

    Who knew? 

    Fun fact: Butter chicken’s proper name is Murgh Makhani — and makhani literally means “buttery.” But “buttery” here doesn’t mean floating in butter. It means rich, silky, and smooth, mostly accomplished with cream.

    My South Asian friends can correct me if I’m wrong lol

    Anyway, Butter chicken or not, I did need butter and also I could use some more naan and I needed some milk too so I headed to the grocery store.  I checked out the sales and saw tubes of 3lb ground beef were on sale.  I was out of ground beef, and I’m like seriously grocery prices though, so I put the tube in my basket.

    I also got my milk and butter, some cilantro, 2 cans of dog food, a bag of dog treats and some carrots I think. 

    $56. 

    I stood there thinking about those “$50 feeds my family for a week” videos and whispered to myself, what the actual hell.

    So I had a good chat with my friend ChatGPT about grocery prices, as one does.  She was like well you can probably make 5 meals out of this. 

    I was like ummm NO Brenda, we are a 1.5-2 lbs of ground beef per meal kind of family. 

    This is like the time she thought I could serve one rotisserie chicken to my family of 5 and still have leftovers for a second meal.   Silly AI lol

    But then I started to think about it and I was like, ok, maybe I could make 5 meals out of this.  At least 4 with the beef + a vegetarian. 

    So I went home, divided that beef into 4 and pulled out all the stuff in my fridge that needed to be used and scoured the pantry including my sick stash of homemade bone broth.

    In under 3 hours I made:

    • Beef and Barley Soup
    • Meat Sauce
    • Beef and Potato Vegetable Soup
    • Lasagna Soup
    • Chickpea Turmeric Rice

    My $21 beef tube + maybe $30-$40 dollars (and that’s being generous) of other ingredients from my kitchen made 5 whole food super healthy meals.  So frickin satisfying. And pretty darn close to $50.

  • I Rage Left My House and Ended Up at the Casino and Lost My Library Book

    Today I did a thing.

    I left my house in a fit of rage.

    Not “I’m going to take a mindful walk.”

    I mean: I’ve had enough, I can’t do this anymore, I’m leaving.

    Like: keys, shoes, bye — I am no longer the Human Emotional Support Department.

    I texted our family chat:

    “I’m putting my phone on DND. If you need anything, deal with it yourself or call your dad.”

    And I would like to be clear:
    This is not child abandonment. My boys are adults — 19 and 21.
    My daughter is the most responsible 11 year old on the planet.

    Also: there is a fully capable father.
    You can call him.
    He can manage.

    Anyway.

    I ran some errands.

    I went to the library because my master plan was to find a pub or restaurant to tuck into, drink wine, and read. But in my haste to leave, I didn’t grab my Kobo… so I depended on the old-school sanctuary of the library.

    Library silence is like nervous system ASMR.
    10/10. Highly recommend.
    Everyone whispers. Nobody yells. It’s glorious.

    I found two books that looked enticing. I got both because my love of mysteries is only slightly stronger than my impulsive decision-making during emotional distress.

    Then I went thrifting. I didn’t find anything, but being alone looking at old things is therapy.

    Then I went for late lunch and a glass of wine all by myself and read my new book like someone who has her life together and isn’t two seconds away from hopping on a plane and leaving for good…

    Except I left my passport at home.

    Then I went to the casino.

    Did I win?
    No.

    I lost $60, and I’d like everyone to know that I consider it a reasonable fee for being left alone.

    And I lost my library book in the casino.

    I grabbed my wine, grabbed my purse, cashed out my 37 cents, and left the book on a seat.

    When I went to get it back, casino security pretty much fingerprinted me before they would return it.

    Honestly? Respect.

    Also… such a me thing to lose a library book in a casino.

    “Excuse me, Security… did someone turn in a library book?”

    But alas, during my day to myself, I was not left alone.

    My oldest son texted me no less than 15 times. Nothing urgent. I didn’t respond. Eventually I turned my phone off.

    When I turned it back on, my mom and sister were looking for me.
    Because my oldest had called them.

    Even though I said very clearly I was going out and going on DND.

    Anyway. They found my car at the casino and texted me a picture. They were worried I’d been sold to the sex trade…

    I’m pretty sure at this point in life I’m probably safe from the sex trade. 😅

    Eventually I came home, sat on the couch, and something wild happened:

    My family started slowly converging around me like I’m the sun and they’re all emotionally photosynthesizing.

    No one addressed the earlier chaos.
    No one apologized.
    We just sort of… resumed.

    The dog posted up next to me like a bodyguard.
    Everyone hovered.
    A moment of peace emerged.

    And I realized something:

    I’m not a robot.

    I don’t have infinite capacity.

    I’m allowed to leave the room.
    I’m allowed to be unavailable.
    I’m allowed to shut my phone off when I’m at my limit.

    Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say:

    “I am not absorbing one more emotion today.”

    I asked my son (19) to pour me a wine… and that kid poured me a chalice.
    To the top.
    Probably a whole bottle.
    A goblet, I would say.

    That kid knows how to pour a glass of wine.

    So that’s the day.

    I didn’t fix everything.
    I didn’t have a breakthrough conversation.
    I didn’t become the bigger person.

    But I did:
    ✅ remove myself
    ✅ protect my peace
    ✅ find my library book
    ✅ and end the day on the couch with wine, a dog, and a family — the cast of characters who are certainly not perfect, but are the stars in my story.

    And honestly?

    That counts.