I was unpacking my meat order from Meridian Meats, as I do. Everything was in order. BUT I got one random Rosemary Garlic Pork Chop that I didn’t order. What? A free pork chop?!! Well I’m not gonna complain about a free little gift from the universe. But what the hell you do with one pork chop?
I consulted with ChatGPT, as one does. How can I stretch one pork chop into a meal to feed five? Pfft. Easy we both said as we high fived. I told her I’m thinking beans. She said great. We both thought.
Then I was like hey, I have a whole head of cabbage. We were both like oh snap, cabbage.
I looked in my fridge. Brenda! I have prosciutto that I need to use up! She was like STOP. We have a meal.
So I poured some wine and put on my 90s rock playlist and browned that prosciutto.
I threw in the pork chop to sear and with delight I realized my pork chop was TWINS! Two babies!!!!
It’s everything I could have hoped for.
Twin pork chops, prosciutto, onions, garlic, carrots, celery, cabbage and my soul nourishing broth. I mixed chicken broth and beef broth because I’m pretty sure that equals pork? Anyway, pretty sure this was all pretty much free and so f*cking good.
I am far from a culinary genius, but what I love about cooking:
Sometimes you plan. Sometimes you improvise. And sometimes you have pork chop twins.
I keep seeing these videos come up in my feeds. How I fed my family 5 dinners under $50. I saw a lady doing a shop and and was like oh look at this lb of ground turkey on sale for $1.99!
$1.99 (*eyeroll*) .
The cheapest lb of ground turkey I can find is $8. And I’m normally a grass fed, free range kinda cook so like that’s unreal.
Anyway, the other day I was about to make butter chicken and realized I was out of butter. Which is fine actually because strangely butter chicken has little to no butter in it.
Who knew?
Fun fact: Butter chicken’s proper name is Murgh Makhani — and makhani literally means “buttery.” But “buttery” here doesn’t mean floating in butter. It means rich, silky, and smooth, mostly accomplished with cream.
My South Asian friends can correct me if I’m wrong lol
Anyway, Butter chicken or not, I did need butter and also I could use some more naan and I needed some milk too so I headed to the grocery store. I checked out the sales and saw tubes of 3lb ground beef were on sale. I was out of ground beef, and I’m like seriously grocery prices though, so I put the tube in my basket.
I also got my milk and butter, some cilantro, 2 cans of dog food, a bag of dog treats and some carrots I think.
$56.
I stood there thinking about those “$50 feeds my family for a week” videos and whispered to myself, what the actual hell.
So I had a good chat with my friend ChatGPT about grocery prices, as one does. She was like well you can probably make 5 meals out of this.
I was like ummm NO Brenda, we are a 1.5-2 lbs of ground beef per meal kind of family.
This is like the time she thought I could serve one rotisserie chicken to my family of 5 and still have leftovers for a second meal. Silly AI lol
But then I started to think about it and I was like, ok, maybe I could make 5 meals out of this. At least 4 with the beef + a vegetarian.
So I went home, divided that beef into 4 and pulled out all the stuff in my fridge that needed to be used and scoured the pantry including my sick stash of homemade bone broth.
In under 3 hours I made:
Beef and Barley Soup
Meat Sauce
Beef and Potato Vegetable Soup
Lasagna Soup
Chickpea Turmeric Rice
My $21 beef tube + maybe $30-$40 dollars (and that’s being generous) of other ingredients from my kitchen made 5 whole food super healthy meals. So frickin satisfying. And pretty darn close to $50.
I mean: I’ve had enough, I can’t do this anymore, I’m leaving.
Like: keys, shoes, bye — I am no longer the Human Emotional Support Department.
I texted our family chat:
“I’m putting my phone on DND. If you need anything, deal with it yourself or call your dad.”
And I would like to be clear: This is not child abandonment. My boys are adults — 19 and 21. My daughter is the most responsible 11 year old on the planet.
Also: there is a fully capable father. You can call him. He can manage.
Anyway.
I ran some errands.
I went to the library because my master plan was to find a pub or restaurant to tuck into, drink wine, and read. But in my haste to leave, I didn’t grab my Kobo… so I depended on the old-school sanctuary of the library.
Library silence is like nervous system ASMR. 10/10. Highly recommend. Everyone whispers. Nobody yells. It’s glorious.
I found two books that looked enticing. I got both because my love of mysteries is only slightly stronger than my impulsive decision-making during emotional distress.
Then I went thrifting. I didn’t find anything, but being alone looking at old things is therapy.
Then I went for late lunch and a glass of wine all by myself and read my new book like someone who has her life together and isn’t two seconds away from hopping on a plane and leaving for good…
Except I left my passport at home.
Then I went to the casino.
Did I win? No.
I lost $60, and I’d like everyone to know that I consider it a reasonable fee for being left alone.
And I lost my library book in the casino.
I grabbed my wine, grabbed my purse, cashed out my 37 cents, and left the book on a seat.
When I went to get it back, casino security pretty much fingerprinted me before they would return it.
Honestly? Respect.
Also… such a me thing to lose a library book in a casino.
“Excuse me, Security… did someone turn in a library book?”
But alas, during my day to myself, I was not left alone.
My oldest son texted me no less than 15 times. Nothing urgent. I didn’t respond. Eventually I turned my phone off.
When I turned it back on, my mom and sister were looking for me. Because my oldest had called them.
Even though I said very clearly I was going out and going on DND.
Anyway. They found my car at the casino and texted me a picture. They were worried I’d been sold to the sex trade…
I’m pretty sure at this point in life I’m probably safe from the sex trade. 😅
Eventually I came home, sat on the couch, and something wild happened:
My family started slowly converging around me like I’m the sun and they’re all emotionally photosynthesizing.
No one addressed the earlier chaos. No one apologized. We just sort of… resumed.
The dog posted up next to me like a bodyguard. Everyone hovered. A moment of peace emerged.
And I realized something:
I’m not a robot.
I don’t have infinite capacity.
I’m allowed to leave the room. I’m allowed to be unavailable. I’m allowed to shut my phone off when I’m at my limit.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say:
“I am not absorbing one more emotion today.”
I asked my son (19) to pour me a wine… and that kid poured me a chalice. To the top. Probably a whole bottle. A goblet, I would say.
That kid knows how to pour a glass of wine.
So that’s the day.
I didn’t fix everything. I didn’t have a breakthrough conversation. I didn’t become the bigger person.
But I did: ✅ remove myself ✅ protect my peace ✅ find my library book ✅ and end the day on the couch with wine, a dog, and a family — the cast of characters who are certainly not perfect, but are the stars in my story.
Kirsty, Unhinged 